Monday, December 14, 2009

In Search Of Serenity

We recently discussed an experience in which we were in an extremely peaceful and calm setting in one moment (outside at a community pool in the early evening, watching three or four people swim laps), then in a chaotic environment the next (driving our bickering children home). As we noted, even though we knew during the car ride that we should not feel differently than we did at the pool, the fact was that we did. And this has practical implications for the difficulties of implementing the absurd in everyday life.

Indeed, while we sometimes speak in absolutes on this blog (e.g., that all experiences are equivalent), we also recognize that such an outlook seems in conflict with the reality of human existence. For example, while we know that it does not "matter" whether we spend our time having sex or sitting on a rock, we (and we assume most others) would prefer the sex. The fact that this is based entirely on biological forces is more or less irrelevant--to deny the desire is, it could be argued, to deny our underlying human nature.

Further (and more to the point), no matter how strongly we believe in the absurd, we have thus far been unable to completely distance ourselves from our non-absurd self, which appears to lurk just behind us (with seemingly inexhaustible patience), ready and waiting for us to let down our guard. We long ago lost track of the number of times we "caught" ourselves being non-absurd and promised to "do better" in the future. Now we simply laugh such "transgressions" off--while we would like to think we will someday banish such slips, we are no longer so sure...

Indeed, we were struck to come across the following passage in Pico Iyer's recent book The Open Road:

"He (the Dalai Lama) told me that sometimes he felt that he could never do enough, and that nothing he did could ever really affect things....He told me that it was 'up to us poor humans to make the effort,' one step at a time, and again, as if invoking the final words of the Buddha, he spoke of 'constant effort, tireless effort, purusing clear goals with sincere effort.'

Then as we were walking out of the room, he went back and turned off the light. It's such a small thing, he said, it hardly makes a difference at all. And yet nothing is lost in the doing of it, and maybe a little good can come of it, if more and more people remember this small gesture in more and more rooms.

Six thousand days or so after that morning...I thought about that simple gesture of turning off the light. Every one of those six thousand days, it seemed to me, I had had some revelation, encountered some wisdom, scribbled down sentences I'd read or come up with myself about the meaning of the universe, the way to lead a better life, the essence of the soul, the unreality of the soul. I had had more lightning flashes and moments of illumination than I could count in the next six thousand years. And yet now, on this bright autumn morning, I could remember not a one of them, except the simple, practical task of turning off the light. Not enlightenment, not universal charity, not the Golden Rule or the wisdom of the ages: just something I could do several times a day." (Emphasis added.)

We have quoted Iyer several times in this blog, and hold him in very high regard in our unofficial "Pantheon of the Absurd." So to hear that he--after more than 20 years of absurdity--continues to struggle with the same issues as do we...well, it was something of a shock. However, as with the absurd itself, after a time we came to see this as rather a good thing. Put simply, while Iyer's experience may indicate we will always be subject to periodic bouts of anti-absurdity, it also suggests we should suffer such lapses with equanimity, rather than seeking to banish them. Better, in short, to accept some modicum of human nature than to strive (as it were) for some ever-higher plateau of absurdity (oh, the irony!).

Indeed, the whole thing puts us in mind of something a fellow golfer once said to us, along the lines of "Why should you expect to hit shots like pro golfers when you only play once a week?" In other words, while it may well be possible for those who devote their lives to meditation to feel calm and peaceful no matter the situation, it is almost surely unrealistic to believe such an existence is possible for those who choose to devote less time and effort to such a goal.

But maybe that's not such a bad thing after all...

5 comments:

  1. Greetings Rick,

    In the other thread, you noted:

    """
    [...] perhaps such tricks do [...] simply layer another "veneer" on the existing illusion of meaningfulness, rather than (as we had hoped) guide individuals down the path to peace and contentment.
    """

    Could it be that saying "But maybe that's not such a bad thing after all..." (in other words, one cannot change human nature) itself is one of those tricks that simply layer another veneer on the existing illusion of meaninglessness, rather than (as you had hoped) guide invididuals down the path to peace and contentment?

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  2. srid-

    We're not exactly sure what you're getting at, but our point is that pursuing the absurd as a "goal" could itself wind up being anti-absurd, particularly given the powerful biological and cultural forces both within and surrounding us. Thus, from a practical standpoint it may be preferable to "accept" periodic bouts of anti-absurdity rather than seeking to banish them wholesale. (Then again, we've never actually experienced Nirvana, so who are we to say...)

    As Modern Man put it in a recent comment: "I think my mistake has been in critiquing myself too harshly when I falter and give in to my anti-absurd instinctual side. Perhaps I just need to implement the absurd "Ahhhhhh" whenever I catch myself burdening myself with my perceived "failures."

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  3. Rick,

    What I asked - in other words - is .. could practicing "acceptance" be one of those tricks that simply layer another veneer on the existing illusion of meaninglessness, rather than (as you had hoped) guide individuals down the path to peace and contentment?

    i.e., when one accepts the periodic bursts of anti-absurdity (or instances of feeling bad in general - such as in a chaotic environment).. could it lead to some sort of languish acceptance of one's fate in life (as they say, you cannot change human nature; accept life as it is; don't try to change) leading to forgetting the goal (which is absolute peace and contentment)?

    Speaking of Modern Man's comment, it is surely unproductive to vex over one's downsides, but what I am referring to is something else that hints at "giving up" in attaining peace and content and instead "accept" one's disharmony and discontentment with "equanimity".

    "we should suffer such lapses with equanimity, rather than seeking to banish them."

    "to accept some modicum of human nature than to strive (as it were) for some ever-higher plateau of absurdity"

    "But maybe that's not such a bad thing after all..."

    Could this equanimity be one of those tricks that simply layer another veneer on the existing illusion of meaninglessness, rather than (as you had hoped) guide individuals down the path to peace and contentment?

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  4. Ah - we see. Well, that's a good question. Perhaps it is yet another trick, but it seems to us it is more a realistic way of approaching life and the human condition.

    In short, given that we are not planning to devote our life to meditation anytime soon, it is likely not possible for us to achieve a state of mind where we never worry about the future or regret the past. Our internal wiring, along with the external reality of a non-absurd society, are simply too powerful for us to expect to overcome them all the time.

    That said, we can certainly choose not to "sweat" these lapses, but rather to incorporate them with good humor. Indeed, we would view this as akin to the currently fashionable concept (in the US) of mindfulness/living in the moment. In other words, we do not believe it is possible for us to be completely free of anti-absurd moments (at least not anytime soon). But what we can do is leave them in the past - where they belong...

    Rick

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  5. Hey Rick,

    You made a very interesting observation in your above response. You wrote:

    "Indeed, we would view this as akin to the currently fashionable concept (in the US) of mindfulness/living in the moment."

    It reminded me that I used to struggle with this very fact - that my attempt to enjoy the present moment coincided with popular philosophies within the US; I was worried that I'd evolve into a neurotic hedonist endlessly chasing my insatiable desires just to enjoy life. Of course, properly enjoying the present moment goes beyond mere hedonism, and this is why this fashionable practice in the US is such a failure: people chasing after a life of pure enjoyment must first reflect and understand the human condition and its inherent conflicts(something the ever-distracted US culture rarely has time for).

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